Vivaan, as a toddler, was super possessive about his stuff. He would not let even his mum and dad ‘pretend’ to eat his food! So if another kid, especially a younger one would visit his house, he would be on a constant guard of his toys, his belongings and of course his food, for the fear that the child will take it along.
As he inched closer to turning five, there was a dramatic change in his social behaviour which left all his family members wondering…
Mumma take, this piece of chocolate is for you. (Trying to please)
Okay dad, you can have my favourite red car and I will take this grey one. (Agrees to rules more easily)
Takes out his paint colours and paint brush: “I will also colour my own pots mom just like Prisha did.” (Wants to be like friends)
No, I do not want to go to the market with you mom, I will stay home with dadi. (Expresses likes and dislikes)
Gets the peanut butter and bread from the fridge, and makes a sandwich. Bring it to mom “Here you go mama, your breakfast is ready!” (Shows increasing independence)
Can I also try, making the rangoli? ( Seeks new experiences)
I want to go on a holiday on a real airplane. (Knows the difference between fantasy and reality)
Man is a social animal
A child eventually develops his/her own ways to get along with other children and adults. Demonstrates both demanding and cooperative behaviours. In doing so, parents play the part of role models- adults who show them how to be with others.
Eg: “Grandma my friend Vidhi, shared her crayons with me. She even got a lollypop for me”
Eg: “C’mon son, let’s together make a milkshake for breakfast today.” Dad, asks the son to fetch fruits and lets him pop them one by one into the blender and churn. What a proud moment it was for little Vinay
Eg: “What are you building Grisha? Oh it’s a doll house…. Let me also help you with it?” says mum
Eg: “Hey boys and girls what are you doing?” Vivaan quotes his teacher while emerged in a role play with friends!
Eg: Child: Can I watch cartoons
Parent: Okay if you want me to get bored and sad
Child: Be happy mama, I will play with you!
Eg: Child: Spilled his juice over the floor. Embarrassed, he quickly gets a wash cloth to wipe and clean it.
Eg: “Dad can I take my new big garage to my friend’s place to play with?”
Eg: Child : “I am sad…. Anju Ma’am did not give any star today”
Persistently positive information, is like persistently negative information,
Giving superficial, or false positive appreciation can act as a setback in the course of challenges faced, in personal/social as well as academic life. The child might thus lack the preparation needed to take on the real world. Remember to trust your child’s competence and resilience, which in turn is a result of initially fostered attachment.
Being a parent is rewarding but often demanding. However, knowing what your child is undergoing is a normal part of a young child’s development, can be very reassuring.
Having high levels of self-awareness and empathy enables parents to ‘tune in’ and respond in a reflective rather than an impulsive way. The relationships they establish with their child and the learning opportunities they provide will help their young child to develop the personal, social and emotional skills.
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